{"id":155,"date":"2009-11-22T17:13:09","date_gmt":"2009-11-22T22:13:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/?p=155"},"modified":"2009-12-12T17:13:51","modified_gmt":"2009-12-12T22:13:51","slug":"thanksgiving-turkey-family-and-carving-knives-or-ask-and-ask-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/thanksgiving-turkey-family-and-carving-knives-or-ask-and-ask-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Thanksgiving-Turkey, Family, and Carving Knives —- Or Ask and Ask Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you remember that opening paragraph?\u00a0 The one by Raymond Chandler that English professors are always quoting as an example of what an opening paragraph should be. The one that goes:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot, dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Well, I don\u2019t really fit the profile.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think anyone has ever described me as meek, and although my doctor has developed the annoying habit of telling me I should be littler, I remain short and pleasingly plump.\u00a0 But although my marriage of nearly forty years remains intact I did give that carving knife some serious consideration.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d you ask.\u00a0 There we were, said irritating husband and myself, talking to my 99-year-old mother.\u00a0 As is often the case I was asking her about family when she turned to Norman and asked, \u201cWhat about you Norman, did you have aunts and uncles when you were growing up?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWe didn\u2019t have much family nearby,\u201d he answered \u201cbut I remember we used to go to Oregon to visit my great-aunts, Amy and Jessie.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

AMY AND JESSIE!\u00a0 ARE YOU KIDDING ME?\u00a0 AMY AND JESSIE!!\u00a0 AMY AND\u2026.\u00a0 I can hardly stand to think about it.\u00a0 Conservatively speaking I had asked him about Amy and Jessie thirty gazillion times.\u00a0 But I had asked at the wrong time or in the wrong way and had somehow failed to jog his memory. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Which finally brings us to the point.\u00a0 The holiday season is upon us and with it comes the opportunity to talk to family and ask them what they know of the family history.\u00a0 Holidays are supposed to be fun; it is inappropriate to badger people for bits of old memories and nuggets of information.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 You are, however, free to gently solicit memories of good times past and friends and relatives gone but not forgotten. Think about the things that are unique or special to your family.\u00a0 Where did the recipe for Grandma\u2019s sweet potatoes come from?\u00a0 Is there a reason Aunt Marigold has that weird name?\u00a0 Does Grandma know how her grandfather ended up in Indiana?\u00a0 Ask and then ask again in a different way.\u00a0 Odd things jog our memories; so don\u2019t give up the first time. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When you are talking to older relatives do not appear desperate to drag out every last bit of information they have before they die.\u00a0 They may be old, but they\u2019re not stupid and thoughts of the Grim Reaper are probably not welcome. Do ask them to tell you stories about their youth and then SHUT UP.\u00a0 Just let the conversation ramble along and good things will happen.\u00a0 And when the first nugget tumbles out continue to just listen.\u00a0 If you stop the flow of memory you may never get it back. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Talk to your brothers and sisters and cousins who are your own age.\u00a0 They will remember different things than you remember and they will remember the same events from a different perspective.\u00a0 Listen and learn.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Bring some old photos with you.\u00a0 Most people seem to enjoy looking at them and they are great memory joggers.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Most importantly, NEVER begin a conversation with, \u201cI\u2019ve been doing some work on the family genealogy.\u201d\u00a0 For some reason completely incomprehensible to me nothing drives people out of the room faster.\u00a0 I know, it\u2019s annoying, but they\u2019re your family and you love them; enjoy your time together and use the carving knife on the turkey.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you remember that opening paragraph?\u00a0 The one by Raymond Chandler that English professors are always quoting as an example of what an opening paragraph should be. The one that goes: \u201cThere was a desert wind blowing that night. It …<\/p>\n

Thanksgiving-Turkey, Family, and Carving Knives —- Or Ask and Ask Again<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-misc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=155"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1995,"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions\/1995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/genealogygals.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}